


Drowning

by Literally_Done



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depressing, Hands down the best thing I’ve written though, and this is literally about me and how I feel, i Don’t know if I should label this as suicidal or not, its sad as hell though and maybe a bit worrying, this is my depression and loneliness taken form
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literally_Done/pseuds/Literally_Done
Summary: Short blurb I wrote while really sad because I hate being alive but hey I don’t wanna do much about it. I’m not THAT suicidal, just wish I’d never been born or something. Because what the hell am I even here for? Nobody likes me. I’m not smart. I’m not beautiful or even a little bit pretty. Nothing ever goes right for me. There’s no point to me.Here’s the manifestation of that:
Kudos: 1





	Drowning

I am drowning.

I don’t know how far under water I am. It’s cold and dark all around my motionless body. The cold, it clings to my skin, rushes up my spine and fills all of my senses so that all I can see, hear, and feel is cold cold cold. It’s strangely numbing- the cold. You would think I would be freaking out, trying and failing to swim up towards the surface- and, believe me, there was an attempt.

I pushed and flailed my arms and legs until neither could no longer function properly through the water resistance. With every ounce of will power I had left being gone, my body went still in the water. I gave up a long time ago, and now my body just... floats. It floats in that calm darkness, devoid of any life other than my own- and, at this point, I am wondering if I myself am still actually alive. Not just a husk of who I used to be. 

If we are going by physical liveliness then, yes, I am technically still alive. Even as my lungs are filled to the brim with that same cold feeling surrounding my body, I still manage to function. My eyes still blink, my limbs still move, and my voice, though muffled by the cold water in my throat, still works. Everything my body is supposed to be doing to function -to keep itself alive- is still working. The water- it doesn’t kill me, it only numbs me...

I feel nothing.

That is where I start to question my liveliness. Yes, I am still a living and breathing human being, but the soul inside of me is vacant. I feel nothing- no fear, no want, no urgency. Nothing at all. I am completely numb. My empty eyes staring blank into the vast emptiness as I just... limply float there. 

I think- would anyone right now, at this very moment, even notice my absence? Would anyone come looking for me? Or would people go about their lives? Say “there’s nothing I can do” and leave it at that? Like the life of Megan Kiester meant absolutely nothing to them? 

Is this what it’s like to feel completely and utterly alone?

I try not to dwell on it. What happens, happens. If no one cares enough to come save me from this emptiness, and I remain floating in the deepest parts of nowhere- then that is what will happen. I have tried my hand and nothing came of it, so here I will wait. I will stare into the endless void. I will feel nothing and I will do nothing. And I will keep waiting and waiting and waiting... 

...until death finally comes and claims what’s left of my vacant soul.


End file.
